BE FOREWARNED, this is
probably just a really long rant, but I had to get it out there. So here we go.
When I posted my original
review on Goodreads I was frustrated. I just wanted to throw all of my
frustrations out into the world so that others who didn’t enjoy this book knew
that they weren’t alone (You’re not alone! I swear!!!). Now that I’ve had the
chance to breathe and let the book settle, I figure it’s time for the
lengthened revised review that goes on the blog. Sit tight, because this may
not be pleasant.
First impressions: Okay,
I’m a sucker. I fell for the creepy yet intriguing cover photo. Just look at
it. It’s simply beautiful, isn’t it? What is it about floating, dismembered
legs that works so well for a horror novel? I don’t know, but it sure as heck
does!
Yeah, yeah the title’s a
bit off. “Something”, really? Just doesn’t work quite as well as “IT”, huh?
I thought, “Oh, but look at that cover. There’s gotta be ‘Something’ great (in
a morbidly creepy sort of way) hidden within that binding.” (See what I did
there with the word “Something”? You didn’t miss it, did ya? Feel free to go
back and read it again if you didn’t catch it. I’ll wait…Yeah, I’m sure I won’t
be the only one. Moving on!)
Unfortunately, I was partially…if
mostly... wrong. (*grumble mumble* stupid cover photo people leading me astray.
And fellow Goodreads reviewers too! What the heck?)
After reading the book, I feel a
bit sad about it. Not that the characters or actual story made me sad. We’ll
get to how I felt about the storyline in a moment.
Did you notice earlier how I
said I was “partially” wrong? There IS “Something” (…OK, OK, I won’t make the
joke again…) great within the confines of this book, and it’s the writing
style. I was sad because the writing style is simply beautiful and fits the
cover perfectly. It has a descriptive and creepy, and oftentimes had an unsettling tone to
it. It’s languid, intelligent, but easily read.
The issue I had with this book was with
the story itself. There really isn’t much of a story here at all. It’s all
about the characters, and the characters just aren’t strong enough to hold the
book together.
I think that once Ms. Lamb
finds a good story to write about, with more interesting characters, she’ll be
able to create something wonderful. Seriously, with her writing style she could
keep you up at night. Provided she had the story to back it up.
So what went wrong with the story? Oh, don't worry, I'll tell ya. The very
beginning of the book was jolted and jumbled.
-On page one; we’re taken
to a bookstore where Aubrey finds the book, “Something”.
-On the second page we
jump to Aubrey having sex with a random guy in an alley. This is supposed to
set the stage to show that Aubrey is still heartbroken over Nathan and trying
to get over him (Who’s Nathan? That’s a very good question, because unless you
read the book blurb and remember it, you don’t have a clue. You can guess, but I
would have much preferred to have been introduced to him in a different way
than this.). I was a little jarred by this segment, and had to go back and read
to see if I missed something. Nope, it’s just a random sex scene, not my
favorite.
-At the bottom of that second page there’s another break, and we’re taken to a home for Developmentally Disabled Adults (I know the term keeps changing, according to what’s politically correct at the time, but for now we’re going with this one) where Aubrey works. It seems she lives there as well? I quickly became confused about this last bit, because she goes to her room at the home, but then later it says that she lives at the school she goes to. On the weekends she lives with her grandparents. So she has three homes, I guess? I’m not entirely sure. I think all of this may have gotten lost in the writing somewhere.
-Aubrey then pulls out
pills she’s collected from some of the residents, obviously stashing them just
in case she wants to kill herself later. You know, as depressed people do. This
is when she starts going on about how alone she is and how she has no friends.
Ok, so that’s all within
the first three pages. We’ve been introduced to Aubrey, and in all honesty I
felt like I knew her a little too well at this point. There’s no mystery here.
All of this is thrown at you, and it makes Aubrey look like a whiney
little girl, with an obnoxious self-pitying attitude, and serious issues.
It also doesn’t take long
to see WHY Nathan broke up with her (her ex. If you didn’t catch that), as it
is also soon revealed that even after over a month of him breaking up with her
she texts him an average of about 20 times a day. And he hasn’t responded back
once!!! Basically, she uses him as a diary, because she’s pretty much just
talking to herself. Texts include thing like, but not limited to:
"NATHAAAAAN"
"No one will ever love you like I do"
"I'm never talking to you again"
"Why don't you love me anymore?!"
Yeah, you probably could have guessed, but that's the gist.
I just have to say here, that
I feel sorrier for Nathan than anyone else in this story. He really did get the
raw end of the deal. Poor guy should have broken up with Aubrey a lot sooner,
or better yet never gone out with her in the first place, though once you meet
his mom you see why his relationship with Aubrey even happened. He also made
the stupid decision to start dating Aubrey’s best friend. On that note, I
really feel like the best friend was more in the wrong there. I almost wanted
to give Nathan a pat on the back for that one, finally doing what makes him
happy.
Anyway, back to Aubrey,
because her “character building” takes up entirely too much of this story in my
opinion. I feel that I disliked her so much, because too much of her character
was shoved down my throat from the get go without telling me WHY she acted the
way that she did. She may have had the potential to be a more sympathetic character,
but by the time I was told why she was so self-loathing I really didn’t care.
Ugh,
and I was downright tired of reading about how she had no friends. OK, we get
it, nobody likes you. Get over it and figure out WHY, if it bothers you so much.
She really is your typical kid who sets themselves up to be bullied. Judge me if you will for that statement, because I'm not advocating bullying. It is awful and cruel (especially when done by catty girls), and there is so much of it in this book it's downright depressing, buuuut there are kids that allow it to happen, and Aubrey is one of those kids.
There should have been
more plot to keep things moving along, with the characters sprinkled in here
and there. It got to the point where the whole book was more about getting to
know these characters than anything else, and every main female character had
the SAME! EXACT!! VOICE!!!
It wasn’t long before we
were introduced to another character: Bella. Aaaaand she’s naked. In her
bedroom with friends. Chugging booze. Oh, and it’s announced that she has
decided, as she has just turned 18, that she will soon become a porn star. As
you can imagine, she has also had a rough life, and while honestly she’s just
as depressed and self-pitying as Aubrey, she shows it in her own way, partying
it up and shoving her boobs in any guy’s face that will have her.
As charming
as Bella is (isn't she just?), if I had to choose one female character that I liked the
most it would probably be her. At least she had spunk, though I’d never be
friends with someone like this. She pretty much seems to hate everyone else as
much as herself, and has no control over herself when it comes to sleeping with
friend’s boyfriends (Whoopsy).
As our final female protagonist (though they sure as heck antagonized me), we have Kendra, a pregnant teenager, living in her dad and grandfather’s home, with her teenage boyfriend. While Kendra is the least developed character of the leading ladies (ladies being a loose term here. Loose. Haha.), I probably liked her the least. She was just as whiny as the previous two characters, but didn’t seem to hate her life as much. Yet, even though she had her darker side and doubts, it was like her boyfriend wasn’t allowed to feel the same way.
Pretty much what I
gathered was Kendra’s situation was a mirror image of what poor Nathan would
have gone through had he gotten Aubrey pregnant. Only they wouldn’t have had
the support of her family, it would have been his to help out (Thank god you
got out when you did and dodged that bullet, huh!) All in all, while I would
never advocate getting a girl pregnant and ditching, I could see why Kendra’s
boyfriend might not want to stick around.
So, we’re introduced to
the characters, and we’re about 60 pages in, and I’m bored. I’ve realized at
this point that while the writing style is great, nothing else is. We have these
three unlikable female characters, who probably could have been made interesting
but just aren’t, and we’re waiting for "Something" to pick up the plotline.
Sure, we get a few
glimpses here and there of "Something" creepy hiding in the bushes, but it’s just
not enough to keep the story afloat for me. The story has pretty much been
dedicated to the main characters at this point, numerous (way too numerous) other characters thrown in as a bland supporting cast, and I just don’t care about
them. They’re all the same person, placed in different lives.
…Woah. Wait. Maybe that
was the whole point. Put the same person in different lives and see what she
becomes… Nah, I doubt it, but I guess that could have been interesting, had the
character herself been made interesting. Ok, I’ll stop saying the word
interesting, because this story was anything but.
Something else I noticed
were all of the adults in this book blending together. They were all one
dimensional and unhelpful really for anything. That’s when I realized the
biggest issue this book has, it’s going for too old of an audience. I’m okay
with adult stories that have young characters, but when they’re all so immature
it makes it hard to enjoy. If there were less sex and other adult situations, I
would suggest this book to a YA audience, and it probably would have done a lot
better there. The characters would have for sure appealed to a younger audience.
Along the same lines, the
dialogue could have used some work. At times it didn’t feel natural, a bit
choppy, and overdramatic. Everyone was VERY dramatic in this story. Again, this
might have appealed to a younger audience base. This book just does not work as
an adult horror novel.
Mentioning genre, let’s finally
move onto that. The main reason I wanted to read this book was because it was
marketed as a horror novel. So, what did I think of that? Eh, there’s potential
here. It might have been a good one. Everything is just so overshadowed by all
of the unneeded obnoxious characters, that I couldn’t bring myself to be
even the slightest bit creeped out.
Also, Ms. Lamb might have benefited
from writing it more like a horror novel and less like a movie in these spots.
For the most part we’re focused on the characters, but then when something
creepy happens we’re transferred to an omnipresent narrative voice, seeing
things the characters don’t. Scenes were written with statements like, “she
didn’t notice…” Rather than that, I might have made the character see these
things, but not register them as odd. Though of course we the reader would,
because we’re looking for something creepy to happen.
Through all of this there is the
slight, sliiiiight, possibility that I would give this author another chance a
few years down the road (though no way in hell from this series). The writing is there, she’s just got to come up with a
good story to tell, about interesting characters (I said interesting, not
likeable. I’ll settle for interesting.). Give me variety in voices, please,
pleeeeaaaase, and some story arcs along the way.
When all is said and done
it’s a 2 out of 5 star read. I’ll give you that star for the writing style, BUT
NOT A STAR MORE!!!
**I received this book through
Netgalley in return for an honest review**
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